Surreal

I got up in front of a bunch of perfect strangers today and told my whole life story in just under an hour. Afterwards a man came up to me and told me that my story had helped him, as he was experiencing many of the same things that i did. It was odd to discover that someone else out there in the real world is going through or has gone through some of the same things that i did. It made feel connected in a way that i never have before....It never occurred to me that at the same moment somewhere in the world somebody was looking in the mirror at themselves and trying to make the same decisions that i was, having the same exact emotion, and asking the same exact questions.....until today i had always felt that i was alone in those small moments, nothing but a drop of water in an endless ocean.

Later in the day i went to the store and bought myself a new pair of shoes. I didn't need them but i have been looking at them off and on for a few months, they lowered the price on them and i figured what the hell...When i put them on, i thought they looked kind of silly but they made me feel like a kid again.....i wore them all day until my wife got home and asked me what was i wearing on my feet, and then i just felt stupid.

She works hard and we take her for granted most of the time around the house so i wanted to be nice. When i was at the store, i picked her up some junk food, made dinner, did the dishes, bought kitty litter and changed the cat box, and folded and put away the laundry that she washed and dried. She really hurt my feeling by making a big deal out of it by walking around the house pretending to have a heart attack and actually marking it down on the calendar. Why is it the people we love the most seem to be able to hurt us like no one else?

I rented a movie called Mr. Brooks...and while I'm not a big Kevin Costner fan i have to say that this is quite possibly his best movie role since Dances with Wolves. The plot is a bit convoluted and wonderfully twisted, I had to watch it twice, as it made me smile.

I have felt very strange and energized most of the day but not so much as i do now alone in the dark in front of this screen watching TV by myself and typing....

I'm going to eat some gumbo now....

Later...