You Can't Go Home Again...

Recently i attended my 20 Year High School reunion. Not much had changed....oh don't get me wrong everybody was older and a little heavier and perhaps a little wiser but not much had changed. The same "clicks" that hung out together in school wound up together again at the reunion. My last memory of most of these people were from graduation parties were the majority of them were "shit-faced". I walk away from this reunion carrying mostly the same memory "shit-faced again! i transferred into this school from California only knowing a few people as my grandparents lived in this town, but i made the best friend of my life there. He was the only one I kept up with over the the past 20 years. We lost touch about 7 or 8 years ago, and he was truthfully the only reason i went to the reunion. Its amazing how people hold on to stuff for 20 years...then again maybe its not. i was happy to see a few people and to know that they were doing well, but i never really "fit" into this school and i felt much the same way at the reunion proving the old adage that you can't go home again. As the evening broke up everybody promised to do a better job of keeping up with one another...but they also said the same thing on graduation day....only the future will tell. 20 years can change people for the better or for the worse...i discovered this weekend that i am much changed and hopefully for the better and i am "for sure" older...lol. The important thing is i found my friend again.

Later...

Devastating couple of weeks...

For anybody still reading my blog...sorry it has been rough around here recently and i just have not had the urge to write. My wife's' father passed away recently, the hardest part to deal with is that we still don't know for sure exactly why. She wrote this small blurb which we posted on our website:

Ricky Howard Smothermon 1955 - 2007.

When I was a little kid, my dad would let me help him get his boat ready for his fishing trips and after the trip was over, he would be tired and sunburned but would lift me into the boat and I would help him unload. He always teased my sister and I that he wished we were boys (and sometimes that we acted like boys) but he loved his girls. He wasn't one of those touchy affectionate dads but when we were sick, he was the most attentive nurse you could ever hope for. He ran when we had our babies, he couldn't handle seeing us in pain, but it took an act of congress to pry those grand-babies out of his arms. He was the most honorable man I have ever known. He never lied to me, even when it would have been easier than the truth. He was a very simple person, often telling us "do what you have to do." Not big on the details, he taught us to see things more directly. He had a few good friends that he considered brothers and was always there when they needed him. His quiet manner made him difficult to know but once you really knew him, he was impossible to forget. My dad is gone now, we still don't really know why and probably never will. He passed away on May 31st, 2007 with his children and his brother and sister at his side. He was 52 years old. It is my hope that his father was waiting for him to guide him to where he was headed. Then there are those of us left behind. His mother, Barbara Smothermon, his daughter Lisa Smith and her husband ( & dads best friend) Will Smith, daughter Nicole House & husband Chris House, sister Tammy Hill and husband Richard Hill, brother Teddy Smothermon & wife Pam, grandchildren Ashley Smothermon, Tyler Bowling & Nathan Smith, companion LaVerne Kirby and his beloved bulldog Chewey. *In my fathers memory, please donate to the Coastal Conservation Association, 6919 Portwest, Suite 100, Houston Texas 77024 (1-800-626-4222).

www.ccatexas.org

Grief is a funny thing it takes its toll on everyone and everyone deals with it very different ways in fact it has caused a few arguments in the past few weeks driving my wife and i apart instead of together where we need to be. She is experiencing a crisis of faith where i seem to be be clinging further to mine. I seek comfort in her company where she seems to want to be alone or stay busy when she should be relaxing. Grief is a necessary evil it is something we must all work through unfortunately there is no shortcut. All i can do is give her space and hope she comes to me when she needs me.

later...