I am Old!

Ok so my cell contract with my carrier expires this month so, the wife and i decide to re-up and get new phones. Now i don't know how many of you have gone cell phone shopping recently but things have SERIOUSLY changed in the last two years. After 30 minutes in the cell store i was ready to choke somebody...Dual mode, Tri-mode, Quad mode, GSM, Digital, Analog, Blue-tooth. (Do i really need a little piece of plastic and silicone sticking out of my ear simply beacuse i'm too lazy to actually answer the actual phone? Blue what?) Not to mention a whole host of other features...V-cast, Push to talk, GPS, MP-3, VGA camera phone with 4x zoom ,Bluetooth® wireless capable up to 30 feet, Multimedia messaging - Send text, video & photos , Live video capture and playback, Digital audio music player, Clear full-duplex speakerphone, Push to Talk with up to 30 people at once, Sturdy compact design with internal antenna, Media Net internet browsing - one button access, Download Music Tone, ringtones, graphics and games, Instant messaging - AOL®, MSN®, Yahoo! and ICQ®, Mobile email access for POP3 email, Voice dialing and voice memo (are my fingers broke I can't push a button?), Quick iTAP predictive text input (what i can't type or spell anymore?), Unique picture and ringer ID (do i need to see a picture of my great Aunt Clara staring at me in my display to know it is her calling?), wash your underwear, walk your dog, have sex with your wife, babysit your children......blah blah blah blah. Ok I want to be able to make a phone call that's what a phone is for yes? Do i really need to be able to watch tv, check my email, text message my mother, check the score of the football game, take a picture of my wife's' ass in the shower, and surf the Internet all while listening to my favorite Alice Cooper song? Um NO...not to mention all these neat little features cost EXTRA above and beyond your basic monthly bill. Would somebody please tell me why i need my phone to be a two way radio with up to 30 other people when its already a phone? And Why would i pay 10.00 extra for the ability to do so, when all i need do is push a button in the first place anyway? My kids know how to operate all this Shit, I don't and I'm the one with the degree..lol can i just get a phone to make a phone call with please? I have a computer, a CD player, a digital camera, and MP3 Player, a satellite radio receiver, a GPS navigation device etc. Why do i want them on my phone where they chew up the life of my battery and distract me even more from my so called life all while sucking my wallet dry? Mr. Bell is turning over in his grave somewhere right now! and these damn things are going to be the ruin of us all...lol

Arrggghhh yes it happened i am old!

Later...