Saturday, October 28, 2006

Samhain not Halloween

Halloween is an annual celebration, but just what is it actually a celebration of? And how did this peculiar custom originate? Is it, as some claim, a kind of demon worship? Or is it just a harmless vestige of some ancient pagan ritual?
The word itself, "Halloween," actually has its origins in the Catholic Church. It comes from a contracted corruption of All Hallows Eve. November 1, "All Hollows Day" (or "All Saints Day"), is a Catholic day of observance in honor of saints. But, in the 5th century BC, in Celtic Ireland, summer officially ended on October 31. The holiday was called Samhain (sow-en), the Celtic New year.
Samhain (Sow-en) marks one of the two great doorways of the Celtic year, for the Celts divided the year into two seasons: the light and the dark, at Beltane on May 1st and Samhain on November 1st. Some believe that Samhain was the more important festival, marking the beginning of a whole new cycle, just as the Celtic day began at night. For it was understood that in dark silence comes whisperings of new beginnings, the stirring of the seed below the ground. Whereas Beltane welcomes in the summer with joyous celebrations at dawn, the most magically potent time of this festival is November Eve, the night of October 31st, known today of course, as Halloween.
Samhain (Scots Gaelic: Samhuinn) literally means “summer's end.” In Scotland and Ireland, Halloween is known as Oíche Shamhna, while in Wales it is Nos Calan Gaeaf, the eve of the winter's calend, or first. With the rise of Christianity, Samhain was changed to Hallowmas, or All Saints' Day, to commemorate the souls of the blessed dead who had been canonized that year, so the night before became popularly known as Halloween, All Hallows Eve, or Hollantide. November 2nd became All Souls Day, when prayers were to be offered to the souls of all who the departed and those who were waiting in Purgatory for entry into Heaven. Throughout the centuries, pagan and Christian beliefs intertwine in a gallimaufry of celebrations from Oct 31st through November 5th, all of which appear both to challenge the ascendancy of the dark and to revel in its mystery.
In the country year, Samhain marked the first day of winter, when the herders led the cattle and sheep down from their summer hillside pastures to the shelter of stable and byre. The hay that would feed them during the winter must be stored in sturdy thatched ricks, tied down securely against storms. Those destined for the table were slaughtered, after being ritually devoted to the gods in pagan times. All the harvest must be gathered in -- barley, oats, wheat, turnips, and apples -- for come November, the faeries would blast every growing plant with their breath, blighting any nuts and berries remaining on the hedgerows. Peat and wood for winter fires were stacked high by the hearth. It was a joyous time of family reunion, when all members of the household worked together baking, salting meat, and making preserves for the winter feasts to come. The endless horizons of summer gave way to a warm, dim and often smoky room; the symphony of summer sounds was replaced by a counterpoint of voices, young and old, human and animal.
In early Ireland, people gathered at the ritual centers of the tribes, for Samhain was the principal calendar feast of the year. The greatest assembly was the 'Feast of Tara,' focusing on the royal seat of the High King as the heart of the sacred land, the point of conception for the new year. In every household throughout the country, hearth-fires were extinguished. All waited for the Druids to light the new fire of the year -- not at Tara, but at Tlachtga, a hill twelve miles to the north-west. It marked the burial-place of Tlachtga, daughter of the great druid Mogh Ruith, who may once have been a goddess in her own right in a former age.
At at all the turning points of the Celtic year, the gods drew near to Earth at Samhain, so many sacrifices and gifts were offered up in thanksgiving for the harvest. Personal prayers in the form of objects symbolizing the wishes of supplicants or ailments to be healed were cast into the fire, and at the end of the ceremonies, brands were lit from the great fire of Tara to re-kindle all the home fires of the tribe, as at Beltane. As they received the flame that marked this time of beginnings, people surely felt a sense of the kindling of new dreams, projects and hopes for the year to come.
The Samhain fires continued to blaze down the centuries. In the 1860s the Halloween bonfires were still so popular in Scotland that one traveler reported seeing thirty fires lighting up the hillsides all on one night, each surrounded by rings of dancing figures, a practice which continued up to the first World War. Young people and servants lit brands from the fire and ran around the fields and hedges of house and farm, while community leaders surrounded parish boundaries with a magic circle of light. Afterwards, ashes from the fires were sprinkled over the fields to protect them during the winter months -- and of course, they also improved the soil. The bonfire provided an island of light within the oncoming tide of winter darkness, keeping away cold, discomfort, and evil spirits long before electricity illumined our nights. When the last flame sank down, it was time to run as fast as you could for home, raising the cry, “The black sow without a tail take the hindmost!”
Even today, bonfires light up the skies in many parts of the British Isles and Ireland at this season, although in many areas of Britain their significance has been co-opted by Guy Fawkes Day, which falls on November 5th, and commemorates an unsuccessful attempt to blow up the English Houses of Parliament in the 17th century. In one Devonshire village, the extraordinary sight of both men and women running through the streets with blazing tar barrels on their backs can still be seen! Whatever the reason, there will probably always be a human need to make fires against the winter’s dark.
...
Divination at Halloween Samhain was a significant time for divination, perhaps even more so than May or Midsummer’s Eve, because this was the chief of the three Spirit Nights. Divination customs and games frequently featured apples and nuts from the recent harvest, and candles played an important part in adding atmosphere to the mysteries. In Scotland, a child born at Samhain was said to be gifted with an dà shealladh, “The Two Sights” commonly known as “second sight,” or clairvoyance.
Apple MagicAt the heart of the Celtic Otherworld grows an apple tree whose fruit has magical properties. Old sagas tell of heroes crossing the western sea to find this wondrous country, known in Ireland as Emhain Abhlach, (Evan Avlach) and in Britain, Avalon. At Samhain, the apple harvest is in, and old hearthside games, such as apple-bobbing, called apple-dookin’ in Scotland, reflect the journey across water to obtain the magic apple.
Dookin' for Apples Place a large tub, preferably wooden, on the floor, and half fill it with water. Tumble in plenty of apples, and have one person stir them around vigorously with a long wooden spoon or rod of hazel, ash or any other sacred tree.
Each player takes their turn kneeling on the floor, trying to capture the apples with their teeth as they go bobbing around. Each gets three tries before the next person has a go. Best to wear old clothes for this one, and have a roaring fire nearby so you can dry off while eating your prize!If you do manage to capture an apple, you might want to keep it for a divination ritual, such as this one:
The Apple and the MirrorBefore the stroke of midnight, sit in front of a mirror in a room lit only by one candle or the moon. Go into the silence, and ask a question. Cut the apple into nine pieces. With your back to the mirror, eat eight of the pieces, then throw the ninth over your left shoulder. Turn your head to look over the same shoulder, and you will see and in image or symbol in the mirror that will tell you your answer.
(When you look in the mirror, let your focus go "soft," and allow the patterns made by the moon or candlelight and shadows to suggest forms, symbols and other dreamlike images that speak to your intuition.)
Dreaming StonesGo to a boundary stream and with closed eyes, take from the water three stones between middle finger and thumb, saying these words as each is gathered:
I will lift the stoneAs Mary lifted it for her Son,For substance, virtue, and strength;May this stone be in my handTill I reach my journey’s end.
(Scots Gaelic)Togaidh mise chlach,Mar a thog Moire da Mac,Air bhrìgh, air bhuaidh, ‘s air neart;Gun robh a chlachsa am dhòrn,Gus an ruig mi mo cheann uidhe.
Carry them home carefully and place them under your pillow. That night, ask for a dream that will give you guidance or a solution to a problem, and the stones will bring it for you.

We here celebrate in a far different manner than most of U.S. Households...for us it's not a festival celebating sugar and silly costumes

just wanted to remind everyone why we do the things we do....

enjoy the holiday

Later....

Monday, October 23, 2006

Life Moves Fast


My daughter who is 14 is growing up way to faaassssstttt! lately she wants to "Hang" with her friends every weekend. She used to be the one to help me with all the animals. She used to be the first one to want to exploring in the woods, or dig in the mud. Now she wants to go shopping, do her hair and nails, wants a cellphone, and talks about boys (Arrrggghhhh!) As a result my son Tyler has been helping me more and more. He is a fun kid and absorbs things like a sponge, and he wants to try everything sometimes i have trouble keeping up. I am enjoying our one on one time together. But i miss the interaction with my daughter on this level. Lately we are either arguing and yelling at one another...or having serious and frank discussions about stuff i'm not ready to talk about yet....I guess what i'm saying is i'm not ready for her to grow up. I had a dream not to long ago where i sang and played one of her favorite songs at her wedding (scary dream!) I want that little girl back who carried frogs around in her pocket, and didn't care if she had a bath that day or not......(sigh) being a parent can really suck sometimes.....
later...

Dead Man Blogging?

OK so the wife and i often have discussions about all kinds of crazy crap and one night the subject of women came up.....(Gulp) It would not be human for any male to not find other women other than their wives or girlfriends attractive....so she asked me who i found attractive and why....so being me..... i told her......at the risk of losing my manhood here are the results....(Now keep in mind these women are not on this list simply because of the way they look.....to me beauty is more than skin deep....to me beauty is a a culmination of many aspects including personality, bearing, attitude, sense of humor etc. in other words they have to have a total "package" not just a pretty face...lol ..... all the women on this list have a quality or qualities that attract me or speak to me in some way shape or form, above all the other women out there...)
At number 10 we have Ms. Lucy Liu....what is so special you ask? Have you seen her freckles? I dig freckles....and have you seen Kill Bill? and a 5'2" she fits my personal aesthetic....enough said
At Number 9 is Zhang Ziyi......she is one of those women who can pull off the innocent angelic thing and then turn around a be a complete bitch, and talk about graceful....have you seen her films? She has also taken it upon herself to be the ambassador for female Asian actors....

at number 8 we have Rose Mcgowan. My sister says she looks like a bug, but something about her overall presence just speaks to me...any anybody that can find decent qualities in people like Marilyn Manson gets my vote.

at number 7 we have Christina Ricci......I have always loved the Addams Family from the comic strip, to the sixties TV Show to the current films......and Christina will forever be Wednesday Addams in my mind.....so she has a big forehead so what I think she is very cute! and I love Creepy chicks!
At number 6 is Sherilynn Fenn....the first time i saw this woman i fell in love...lol her voice, and the way she carries herself just sucked me right into the movie screen...not sure where she is now but i think she will always be one of the most beautiful women i have ever seen!


at number 5 is Elizabeth Hurley......Early in her career she did nothing for me, but as she got older that changed....her manner her bearing, her grace seemed to improve the older she got now in her 40's i think this woman is the quintessential picture of class and sophistication...and you have to love the accent.

at number 4 is Uma Thurman...now i realize she is an unconventional beauty, but she is fun, quirky, and odd. I don't normally like blondes (Odd cause i married one) but this one stands out in my mind...there are blondes much prettier but for me and my money this one is it! Have you seen Kill Bill?...this woman owned that role (The Bride/Beatrix Kiddo/Black Mamba) and cemented her place in my mind......

at number 3 is Angelina Jolie....when i first noticed her i thought she had really great eyes but didn't think much more about her...until I realized my wife thought she was the shit...in fact the ball and chain said she would DO Ms. Jolie and I would love to be the meat in that sandwich...but then again who wouldn't? Seriously though the older she gets she seems to mature and become like a fine wine....and her charity work just puts the cherry on the sundae!

at number 2 is the Pin Up queen herself Bettie Page.......She revolutionized attitudes towards sex and became the heroine of many women the world over not to mention raised the blood pressure of men everywhere....I became fascinated with her at an early age...when my friends were drooling over Farrah, and, Heather and the like Bettie was always my gal and will always remain that way.... My wife frequently buys me Bettie Page Swag...how cool is that?


And at number 1 is my wife Nicole....(Yea i know you think i'm trying to score brownie points or save my ass but i'm dead serious) This woman has changed my entire outlook on life, love, relationships, sex, family, and a host of other things. When i first met her i thought she had a great ass...but that was as far as it went...she was really bitchy! Not to mention i'm a bit on the republican side of the fence and she is way over on the left someplace...lol and as you can see from the pictures above I don't really like blondes....lol. Also she is a gemini so I never know who i'm going to come home to, or who will walk in the door sometimes...(seriously i'm not kidding which is both scary and exciting) She is one of the only women that i have ever met that can be classy, crass, demure, outrageous, soft spoken, in your face, inoocent, and sultry all at the same time, and still manage to bang her head! She is a lady on my arm, she can be a slut in the bedroom, she can be an innocent child....she is sexy in her undies, nothing at all, and an old T-shirt (she even has beautiful feet!). She is kind, giving to a fault...and makes me laugh even when i really don't want to. She indulges me in all things...sometimes too much...she has made me a father...(an experience that i both love and hate her for)...she is my best friend, my lover, my mother, and my wife......I love her.....and she has freckles did i mention i love freckles?.......and guys if you choose to believe it or not I wouldn't trade her for ANY of the women on this list!
I should mention there are a few gals that used to be on the list and fell off for various reasons but they include...Winona Ryder , Jennifer Connelly , Monica Bellucci , Fairuza Balk , Robin Tunney , Thora Birch , Kate Winslet , Janeane Garofalo (yes you read that correctly), and Janine Turner .......but i figured i would mention them anyway, i suppose if i expanded my list to 20 these women would be the next in line. Yea i know i'm a weird guy......probably only Angelina, and Elizabeth would have been the only ones on my list to make it to most other men's list, but as i said they didn't make it to my list because of the way they look, or how they are built......there is much more to a woman's beauty than that and if you don't know that then you have no business with a woman at all!
enjoy the candy...
later.....








Thursday, October 19, 2006

Guilty Pleasures


My wife just recently bought me a Sirius Satellite Radio receiver for our anniversary........I love the damn thing.....and it got me to thinking.......Music used to be a HUGE part of my life...in fact at one time i made a living playing guitar. Now music seems to be simply the background score for my life. If i'm in a crappy mood i put on anything by the Ramones and i'm instantly better. If I want to get pumped up I throw on some old AC/DC (that means before Brian Johnson came along...since Back in Black their music seems to be missing a key ingredient in fact it just sucks). I'm also the biggest Black Sabbath fan ever..(I hate to admit it but I like the Dio stuff better.....from a technical standpoint) The Beatles, Janis, Jimi, and the Doors never leave my player...ever. Without even noticing it my love for music seems to have rubbed off on the children (hence the picture of my son who now owns his own drum kit!!) In fact my teenage daughter and i go cd shopping together and she has introduced me to a few new bands as well. (I'm listening to Wolfmother as i type this) ok so my hair is all gone but "Hair Nation" is the number one station programmed into my receiver followed by Buzzsaw, Octane, and Hard Attack.....
I love my wife, she is indeed my sunshine
Later...

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Old Dog, New Tricks


OK so years ago when i first met my wife, she wasn't into reptiles in any way, shape, form or fashion.....she liked all the fuzzy cute stuff......Well I have created a monster I tell you......Roughly four years ago i drug her off kicking and screaming to a reptile convention.......long story short when we left the show that day she had purchased two snakes of her own.......
Recently she has discovered Geckos......(to be specific Crested and Gargoyle Geckos...this is one of her animals i photographed with my new digital camera).....now this is an animal that I would have never purchased on my own (After all it's not a snake)......but I have to say they have turned out to be some of the most rewarding animals that i (We) have ever kept. Ironic isn't it?.....i introduce her to the world of reptiles and she ends up being the one to expand my hobby. One of the many reason why i love my wife.....lol
Later...

Thursday, October 12, 2006

They Asked for More

well they literary agency responded to me asking for more material so i sent these three poems along as well...so again to be on the safe side i'm going to publish them here as well


1.
In our rented room
Your form explicit
your legs
Were my world
I
found
A measure of content
In your arms
For a while
together
Under cool cotton sheets
Entwined
Me
within you
Once upon a time
Petite queen

Now disenchanted
Our union
Marred and broken
I lay here
By myself
Consorting with
My demons
And wanting to die
Thanatos
Has no time for me

So I write
And survive
The suicide Notes
No one
will find

In shadow
I fear being alone
Heaven
I now know
Is not for me
Scared Little Boy
On the inside
Afraid to ask
For
Forgiveness
Wondering
Where you are
And if your
Finally
Happy?

2.
Ravens wings and stranger things
Haunt
The dark corners of my mind
Macabre mists
Infest neurons
Cluttering Them with
Sinister insidious unease
Cathartic terrors
Traverse
Neural net pathways
Excavating
Ponderous foreboding dreams
Meant to Remain
Safely locked away
With heavy iron chains and padlocks


Wild streams
Of violent midnight
Leak from my pen
Like glittering streams of ebon
Forming opiate oceans
Of monstrous drivel
With which to
Fill
This worm eaten page

Formulas
Black and forbidden
Ancient
Guarded
Secrets

I remember
How
By the light of candles
And the relentless
Dripping of wax
In a place
Devoted
To strange searching
A fresh
Morbid malignancy
Seeped into
My cerebellum

A strange phantom
Guides my hand
Spectral fragments
And letters form
A turn of the key
And you
Were
Born

3.
What was once
Will never be again
Fate is fickle
As she is
Female
Changing her heart
And mind
Minute to minute
As they are all
Inclined to do

The bane
Of my existence
Though
I love them dearly


I am part of
A generation
Raised by women
Father
Always absent
Problem
No solution
Can the Answer
be Found
In the arms of
another
Woman?

Only half
One
Incomplete
Without the other
Twice
I have tried
Twice
I have
Failed

Life is simple
The answer
Forty-two
But
What
Was
The question?


paranoid maybe but i suppose you can never be to safe?

Later...

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Recent Submission

I recently Submitted this poem for consideration to a literary agency so just in case (Paranoid) i'm going to publish it here as well

Only in the shadowed recessed
Alcoves of my brain
Do I begin to understand
The arcane logic
Of the alpha numerical poly-peptide
Sequences
Of both life and death

Because of the coins you chose
To press into the ferry mans’
Outstretched bony grasp
A holy war now rages
In the v-twin adrenalin charged Temple

of my heart
Armies of anger and sorrow
Surge unchecked
Waging war
Across the battlefield
Of my scarred grey twisted soul
Fallen soldiers
Comprised of blood and tears
Mingle together
And embrace
As they free themselves
On silver and ebon wings
From their brutal prison
Of carbon and h20

God?
There is no such thing
For me
You have removed me from
His healing light
And left me in this hell
Constructed just for me
The one you promised
To love, honor, cherish, and obey

Just as the night must die
To give birth to the dawn
A part of me
Died with you
Giving birth to hatred
Most divine
A hatred you nurtured
At your breast
A hatred you placed
Into the cavity of my chest
Where its evil cancerous growth
Eats away at me
Day by day

With the contents of a bottle
You left me alone
In a cold and clinical place
To identify
Your earthly remains
Because

your mother
Refused to bear witness
To your cold and lifeless blue form

It is only now
After having served my sentence
Of loneliness in shadow
That I can return
To that morning
Surrounded by stainless steel
White sheets and formaldehyde
And truly
Kiss you goodbye

Only now
Can I walk
Down that long corridor
Of concrete
And pass through
Those heavy doors
Of leaded glass
Out into the sun


better safe than sorry

Later...

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Body Modification














Why do it? Good question.....Body modification (or body alteration) is defined as the permanent or semi-permanent deliberate altering of the human body for non-medical reasons, such as spiritual, various social (markings), BDSM "edgeplay" or aesthetic. It can range from the socially acceptable decoration (e.g., pierced ears in many societies), to the overtly religiously mandated (e.g., circumcision in a number of cultures) to corporal punishment, to provocative statement by the rebellious (e.g., tongue splitting). Some even become physically addicted to the adrenaline/endorphin release associated with a painful procedure in a way analogous to that experienced by those who self harm. Some people experience an abstract but distinct compulsion to modify their body that appears to have no underlying or external reason. Some futurists believe that eventually humans will pursue body modification with more advanced technological means, such as permanently implanted devices to enhance mental and physical capabilities, thereby becoming cyborgs. For the substantial number of people with heart pacemakers and brain implants such as cochlear implants and electrical brain stimulators for Parkinson's disease, this is already a reality. (Imagine a world where we can have ipods/MP3 players hard wired and implanted directly into our brains) i.e. William Gibson

So why did i do it? I'm not sure i have been toying with the idea for years...i guess i'm at a point in my life where i have done everything the way i am supposed to and it hasn't gotten me anywhere...i.e. cut my hair to get a job etc. Did I do it to be cool? my son asked me this question, and well that opens up another question what is cool...Body modification has become a common place event these days....in fact while i was standing around shooting the breeze with one of the artists, three women one a nurse, one a waitress, the other a housewife...all having various piercings done were in line in front of me......so my definition of cool would be to not have it done simply because everyone else IS having it done so no I didn't do it to be cool...besides how cool can a 37 year old bald father truly be ? lol.....so again why did i do it? I suppose it boiled down to freedom...i made the chice to do it any nobody can tell me what i can or can't do with my body. My ears have been pierced for roughly 20 years now and i did it then because i knew it would piss off my father (Ex-Navy). and i simply liked the way it looked. I currently have 6 tattoos each of them inked just after a major life event.....the publishing of my first comic, my divorce, my 30th birthday etc. So I suppose the answer is i did it because i wanted to! why does anyone do anything? Something to think about. I think everyone should get at least one tattoo or at least one piercing.

Just my two cents

Later...

Saturday, October 07, 2006

For my Buddy Scott K.

DEATH BY LOVECRAFT


I was told his housekeeper found him sitting upright in his favorite chair, the expression on his face frozen in a state of obvious abject transfiguring fear, his fist clutched around an amulet made from some unknown black highly polished red stained mineral matter. The coroner listed the cause of death as shock derived from electrical discharge. I being a student of the occult and esoteric was the only one who accepted the truth for what it was. Next to him on the side table nervously scrawled with a finger in his spilled wine was a single word: Nyarlathotep.

this is a post in response to Matt Dinniman's Flash Fiction contest:

http://shiveredsky.blogspot.com/2006/10/1st-annual-flash-fiction-contest-prizes.html

enjoy

Later...

Friday, October 06, 2006

Coolest Wife on the Planet!

Today on my long commute to work i thought a lot about my life......I have come to the realization that i truly have the coolest wife on the planet. We met at a party....and i couldn't stand her...she was bitchy full of herself and about as liberal, left wing, and tree hugger as you can get...in fact we got into a very heated debate about hunting..(while we still disagree overall she has come to see my side of it) but after more conversation she managed to flip through my CD wallet and find several Ramones CD's which made me a little better in her book and I managed to get a good look at her ass...which made her better in mine....needless to say roughly 6 months later we got hitched....I have kept reptiles the better part of my life and wasn't about to give them up...she wasn't too keen on the idea until she managed to get one in her hands...(today she has her own that she keeps and breeds, as well as tortoises and geckos). Most women would go apeshit if ther husbands turned the spare bedroom into a vivarium...but not mine in fact she encouraged me to turn it into a business (she keeps the books naturally). Most women would also have a hissy fit over their husbands looking at another woman....Mine looks at them with me....(I have always had a thing for Betty Page and she buys me Betty Page stuff...how cool is that?) She never misses a beat with me or the kids even when she is sick and running a 102 degree temp. She is always up for an adventure, she encourages me like no one ever has including my parents, she is kind, sweet, forgiving, sexy, beautiful (both inside and out) and I cannot imagine my life without her. She also made me a father (2 kids).....In fact that is probably the only thing we ever argue about...I'm a bit of a hard ass having grown up in a Navy household and she is a bit of a softie so we usually have to meet some where in the middle. She indulges my fantasy and SCI-FI addictions, as well as my Toy Collection (My last Birthday she actually imported a toy from Japan because she knew how bad i wanted it) She also bought me a first addition of Naked Lunch by William Burroughs (yes I collect books too....go figure) She will go without many things so the me and the kids can have and she never complains about it....She will give you the shirt off her back if she thought it would help....She rescues every sick or injured animal she sees, and goes out of her way to make you smile. In short she is a saint for putting up with me and my crap....I don't really know why she does it but I'm glad she does....as for the first time in my life I'm hopelessly, deeply and totally in love...she is indeed my sunshine and the reason i hit the ground running every day.....So Honey if your reading this, Thank You for saying yes when i asked you to marry me ......... I love you!

Ah shut up! I know its mushy but i don't care.... and no I'm not in the doghouse

Later....

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Only from My Cold Dead Fingers


As a gun enthusiast, I often fume that the anti-gun crowd is forever thinking that firearms themselves are somehow responsible for terrible tragedies, as if a thing of forged steel and finely machined parts could contain some indwelling power and mind of its own. New or stronger laws are not the answer........we need to enforce the laws that are already on the books.....in regards to the recent events (i.e. school shootings which deeply sadden, sicken me as well as piss me off) stronger gun laws could not have prevented any of these shootings, because these people had no criminal background and had not been treated for any psychological problems, and even if they had.....guns can be bought anywhere for the right price....why punish me or any law abiding gun owner for something somebody else did or does? You can make all the changes you want to existing laws or even make new ones, but you can never stop a random act of violence by someone intent on taking his own life, or the lives of others. These disturbed people are going to find a way to commit these deeds.... if its with a screwdriver, a hairdryer, a hammer, a virus, or a car. Pointing the finger at guns is just stupid and lazy. I find it very ironic and funny that left wing nutcases like Rosie Fat-Ass O'Donnel that are so against guns....she has attacked everyone you can imagine (Did you see her ambush Tom Selleck on her show?) and has marched on Washington in support of her so called cause.... and yet her bodyguards carry.....yep you guessed it guns!......case of do as i say not do as i do.....it just shows the attitude of these people...

Later...

Sunday, October 01, 2006

New Lease on Life


I know it s been a while so sue me life gets in the way of things all the time....(I have been working on a Novel) and......My son Tyler has been begging me for over two years now for a bow this week i decided he was old enough. But I need to back up.....I was cruising down the road on my way to work the other day and the "Cats in the Cradle" came on the radio...suddenly i had to pull over a cry a little bit (seriously) My son had made the comment a few days before that everybody was just too busy to play with him. His older sister was out with friends I was working in the snake room and updating a website and his mother was at work......Suddenly my childhood came flashing back....my Father was in the Navy and always gone when he was home he was sleeping or busy ...we don't have the greatest relationship now and i didn't want us to be the same way.....so i dusted off and old hand me down Fred Bear Bow cleaned it up and bought him a new one and we have spent the last two days plinking arrows in the yard......I never knew 100.00 bucks could be so rewarding...... I don't think I have ever seen him so happy, or me either for that matter its funny how small things can change your perspective.....Life moves very fast don't stand still for too long.....

Later...

Saturday, September 16, 2006

One of those Weeks

Sorry i haven't found the time to write but........ever have one of those weeks where nothing and I mean NOTHING seems to go right? Where do i start? My wifes' Grandmother had a stroke at the beginning of the week and is currently in the hospital....i had a pet snake crawl into its water dish and somehow flip it upside down where it wet sealed causing the animal to suffocate.... we are not sure yet but we think my wife may have miscarried, that or her cancer has come back, and now our air conditioner just conked out...when it rains it pours....

sometimes i wonder why i even bother to get up every day and carry on
i often think we are just here to amuse the gods and appaently its my turn

I'm awake
my soul never sleeps
people are cattle
they give me strange looks
i scare them
they often
walk the other way
can they see?
the madness that lurks
behind my eyes

Living is a hard thing to do
i do not do it well
the morning
does not come to me
as it does everyone else

I fear i must walk
in the shadows
i grow weary of the
masquerade
i am lost
i do not know who i am
i often want to die
i feel alone
surrounded by ghosts
who pretend to be alive

Arcane secrets
criminal mind
they will find
no clues
at the scene
its not worth the pain
yet without it
are you truly alive?

i hate
they haunt
i bury them again and again

where would i be
never having known

probably
happy


I hate to put titles on things i think it would influence the reader to lean in a certain direction isn't the idea of a poem to simply ignite a spark of some kind? can you even call this poetry?

Later...

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Home?

Everything was going ok today...for a while....the second i asked my 14 year old daughter to do anything other than sit in front of the computer or sit on her butt in front of the TV you would have thought i asked her to carry a 1200 pound calf on her shoulders up hill to the slaughter house in August! What is it about teenagers that they think they don't have to do a damn thing but breathe? For the most part I can deal with the attitude (as I have one of my own) its the mouth, and the disrespect that comes out of it...if i had talked to my father like she does me when i was 14 i wouldn't have any teeth left (that is provided i was still here to even comment on it). It pushes every single button i have all at once.....It makes me want to take the nearest thing i can get my hands on and ram it so far down her throat that when she eventually has children they will taste it! And if that wasn't bad enough the wife just always takes her side and sends us to our respective corners (I'm always the bad guy and I'm an adult i should know better blah blah blah if you want my solution she should be spanked, or grounded or both thats the problem we have now she is way way to soft on them lets them get away with murder and its all written off because they are kids...blah blah blah.... to be fair she argues that i'm way too harsh).....that pisses me off to no end it simply adds injury to insult and makes me pissed at her......I'm really at my wits end here and don't have a clue what to do about it......

maybe things will look better in the morning....but i seriously doubt it!

I'm better of staying at work...........I'm beginning to understand why my father spent so much time at work....at least there he was needed, wanted, people listened to what he had to say, valued his input, and he actually got something accomplished.

any thoughts?

Later.....

Monday, September 04, 2006

While I'm on the Subject

Ok for those that know me it is no secret that Robert E. Howard is one of my first heroes. I discovered Conan when i was 12. In the summer of that year i used all of my hard earned allowence to purchase the 12 books in the Conan Series published by Ace. This collection was lovingly reconstructed and the gaps filled in by L. Sprague De Camp and Lin Carter. To a boy my age the larger than life Conan lept off the page and thrilled me to no end and managed to transport me to places i could never go by myself....In fact it was Howard that made me want to pick up a pen and write my own stories.....As I got older I tracked down the Solomon Kane stories, as well as Kull of Valusia, and Bran Mak Morn. Conan and Howard Both still hold a special place in my memories (although as i age i find myself drawn more to Solomon Kane) Recently I picked up a copy of Weird Tales magazine on a whim and discovered that the company that owns the magazine is reprinting all of Howards works from the magazine (as i type this i have placed my order for all 10 books even though i will probably overlap my already large howard library) I also came across this article and thought that it deserved a larger audience......

commentary by Leo Grin

On January 22, 2006, at a desolate crossroads in the windswept cowtown of Peaster, Texas, a gathering of men stood reverently in a chill downpour. These weren’t local ranch hands or mud-soaked oil riggers, they were fantasy fans — editors, scholars, and aficionados, from places as far away as Washington DC, Chicago, and Los Angeles. Each had journeyed hundreds of miles through sleet and rain on a Quixotic quest of tribute. For exactly one hundred years earlier, in that isolated Texas hamlet, the ailing wife of a grizzled frontier doctor gave birth to a man whose name still echoes like a grim knell across the fantasy genre’s dreamscape. The father of Sword-and-Sorcery. The creator of Conan.Robert Ervin Howard. That same morning, sleepy-eyed readers of The Washington Post were treated to a book column by popular critic Michael Dirda, who seized upon the occasion of Howard’s one-hundredth birthday to review Del Rey Books’ sumptuous new series of fully-illustrated, textually-restored Conan books. Dirda assured readers who harbor a dislike for pulp fantasy that “approached as guilty pleasures, [the Conan stories] can be wonderfully entertaining,” then made a measured case for Howard’s literary worth. “Howard’s Conan chronicles,” Dirda wrote, “are... studies in the clash of Barbarism and Civilization. In Howard’s grim and all too realistic view, the barbarians are always at the gate, and once a culture allows itself to grow soft, decadent or simply neglectful, it will be swept away by the primitive and ruthless.” He ended with a judgment that is old hat among fantasy fans, but one which many critics and academics are only now belatedly acknowledging: “Apart from Fritz Leiber’s tales of Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser, sword and sorcery adventures don’t come any better.” Amen. As criticism goes, Dirda’s insightful analysis is a far cry from sixty years ago, when playwright H.R. Hays greeted Howard’s first American hardcover appearance — the now-classic 1946 Arkham House release Skull-Face and Others — with a scathing review in The New York Times titled “Superman on a Psychotic Bender.” Of course, Dirda’s no long-dead, forgotten blowhard — he won the 1993 Pulitzer Prize for criticism. Clearly, time and age have been good to Robert E. Howard. The man whom H.P. Lovecraft christened “Two-Gun Bob” left us a large, fascinating body of work encompassing not only the birth of the Sword-and-Sorcery genre, but also the misery of the Great Depression, the bittersweet memory of the American frontier, and the millennial sweep of War and Time and History. Howard’s work is increasingly perceived as a modern continuation of the gloomy, homegrown literature pioneered by giants such as Hawthorne, Melville, Poe, and London. For decades known as one of the Big Three Weird Tales writers, he is now also being studied and respected as a Texan writer, a 1930s writer, and a classic American writer. My, how times have changed. A few decades ago, critics and reviewers dismissed Conan as adolescent fantasies for perpetually adolescent minds. Exciting and action-packed and passionate? Yes! But Art? Literature? Fuhgettaboutit. Granted, not everyone thought that way. Fritz Leiber’s REH criticism was uncommonly perceptive, and remains as useful now as when it was written decades ago. [He coined the term Sword-and-Sorcery, now being considered for inclusion in the Oxford English Dictionary to describe the Conan stories.] And most fans have never heard the great anecdote L. Sprague de Camp relates in his autobiography Time and Chance, about his enjoyable afternoon spent in Tolkien’s garage study, drinking and conversing with the legendary fantasist. When the subject turned to Howard, de Camp fully expected Tolkien — an infamous curmudgeon when it came to modern fantasy — to dismiss the Texan out of hand, if indeed he had read him at all. But to his surprise, Tolkien not only confirmed that he had read Howard, but admitted without shame that he “rather liked” the Conan tales — high praise indeed coming as it did from one of the harshest critics of the field. Still, the likes of Leiber and Tolkien were exceptions. According to most of Howard’s fellow professionals, his work was forever marred by its pulp roots and his legendary psychological problems. Today, such opinions are as outdated as a ’59 Edsel. The cheap, gaudy paperbacks of yore are now deluxe illustrated volumes lovingly restored to match Howard’s original typescripts. Fantasy authors routinely credit Howard as a seminal influence revered among their ranks. Critical books and magazines have prompted teachers to finally include Howard on reading lists and syllabi. (I recently read a feature about one such teacher in the Antelope Valley Press, a popular Southern California newspaper with a readership of 250,000 — apparently his assigning Howard to students as extra credit caused a stampede to nearby bookstores, making Howard a sellout for miles around!)To readers whose last experience with Howard was reading Conan as a teenager, all of this may seem shocking. But to those of us who have been enmeshed in Howard studies for a long time, getting face-time in The Washington Post from a Pulitzer Prize-winner is merely the latest in a string of breakthroughs for the Texan.Back in the late 1960s, when science-fiction grandmaster L. Sprague de Camp ushered the whole Conan saga into paperback for the first time, the resulting surge in Conan’s popularity created a tidal wave known ever since as the “Howard Boom.” It was a heady time for fans — virtually everything Howard ever wrote was published in one form or another. Incomplete stories, high school newspaper articles, juvenilia — nothing was too unfinished or just plain bad to stick into a paperback and foist upon Conan fanatics. Boxing tales, westerns, and detective stories were all encased in covers deceptively hinting at Sword-and-Sorcery pleasures, each emblazoned with “By the creator of CONAN!” Readers were grateful for the deluge, even while lamenting that some critics were judging Howard not by his best work but by haphazard paperbacks containing his very worst writing, stuff he never intended to publish.As the Howard Boom died out in the early ’80s, scholars quietly went through a decade of sifting through all of this new material and reëvaluating his reputation. Those who came to Howard as Conan fans often left with a newfound respect for his poetry, westerns, crusader tales, horror, and boxing stories. Crucially, a well-reviewed critical book called The Dark Barbarian appeared in 1984 from a respected academic press. Meticulously assembled and edited by critic Don Herron, it intelligently covered the whole of Howard’s output, demonstrating that the creator of Conan could and should be taken more seriously. A few years later, several volumes of Howard’s letters were published by Necronomicon Press, showing “crazy” Howard in a light few had fathomed: as a savvy businessman, a frequent, wide-ranging traveler, a good friend, and a passionate literary artist all-too-aware of the way people perceived him.As time passed, Howard’s hometown at long last began to preserve the legacy of their most famous resident. In 1986, a group of fans and civic leaders in Cross Plains combined forces to establish Robert E. Howard Days, a festival that takes place the second weekend each June to celebrate Howard’s life and work. Over the years it has grown into a vastly entertaining mini-convention hosting over a hundred fans, complete with tours, panels, awards, a banquet, and viewings of all the places about which Howard worked, traveled, and wrote. The original house Howard lived and wrote in has been beatifically restored into one of the country’s most charming literary museums, prompting its addition to the National Register of Historic Places in 1994. Once a forgotten figure in Cross Plains, Howard now is the town’s shining light. The same year Howard Days began, his former girlfriend Novalyne Price-Ellis, then an elderly retired schoolteacher, published an autobiographical book called One Who Walked Alone about her years spent dating REH at the end of his life. The volume revealed Howard to be a much more conscientious and dedicated craftsman than even his most ardent fans had suspected. Howard’s passion for the history and culture of his beloved Southwest, his trenchant explanations of the thematic threads tying together his oeuvre, and his insistence on the artistry underlying his pulp writing opened up new avenues of study. When in 1996 the book was made into a critically praised film titled The Whole Wide World, starring Renée Zellweger and Vincent D’Onofrio (the movie appeared on over fifty critics’ Top Ten lists for that year), Howard’s appeal broadened outside his fantasy roots yet again, sometimes attracting fans in strange places. (For instance, in recent years I have noticed a number of new women at Howard Days — apparently The Whole Wide World has been screened on Oprah Winfrey’s Oxygen Network cable channel so often that it has made Howard a romantic figure among housewives!)Because of his letters, Novalyne’s book and film, and various other interviews and evidence, Howard’s personality has now been radically re-defined in the minds of fans. Previous generations took it at face value that Howard was, in a word, nuts — a crazed, paranoid eccentric living a schizophrenic life comprised of half reality and half fantasy, whose writing poured out in lengthy marathon fits of genius that eventually culminated in a senseless Oedipal suicide. Today, much more is known about Howard’s life and motivations, and the old gossipy tales have lost their power to convince. By degrees, the dominant image of Howard the Crazed Nut has given way to Howard the Misunderstood Artist. By the time John Milius recorded his interview for a new Conan the Barbarian DVD in 2000, gleefully recounting all the silly old canards of a schizoid Howard haunted by the ghost of Conan and holed up in a boarded-up house with a shotgun sweating his terror-filled nights away, most fans knew better than to believe any part of the tale. Throughout most of the ’80s and ’90s Howard studies were going gangbusters, yet the publishing of the actual stories was moribund, lost to legal wrangling among various parties intent on gaining control of Howard’s valuable literary properties. Conglomerates with money to burn brought Conan back in a series of ill-advised projects. From a risible Saturday morning cartoon to lame comic-book retreads to a wretched live-action television show, each attempt to recapture the Boom magic flopped among fans, who pined for more faithful and intelligent fare geared to match their newfound respect for the author.The Boom’s pimply-faced teens had grown up, and no longer would they gobble down the latest tripe passed off as “faithful to Howard.” They wanted the real thing, presented with the class that the author deserved.Eventually, they got it. One by one the lawsuits were settled, the lawyers faded away, and it became possible to publish Howard in something resembling a principled fashion. In 1996 Baen came out with seven paperbacks containing much of Howard’s non-Conan output, but scant advertising and publicity combined with corrupt texts doomed the series to only moderate success and no reprintings. Efforts by English publisher Wandering Star to produce lavishly illustrated and textually pure volumes of Howard’s best work, a “Robert E. Howard Library of Classics,” were more successful. Six books have been released to date, all widely praised for their scholarship and presentation. The stunning quality of these expensive collectors’ volumes attracted the interest of Del Rey, who is now filling bookstores with affordable trade-paper and hard-cover editions of each. It was this series, specifically designed to promote Howard as a classic American author worthy of critical attention, that caught Pulitzer Prize winner Dirda’s attention and prompted his Washington Post piece.In the wake of Wandering Star and Del Rey, other publishers began filling the marketplace with an array of riches that have fans talking delightedly of a second Howard Boom. Wildside Press is currently producing a ten-volume hardcover set encompassing all of Howard’s classic Weird Tales works, and they have other volumes out dedicated to his detective, crusader, humorous boxing, and western tales. Last year Bison Books, a prestigious academic press based at the University of Nebraska, released five elegant hardcovers of Howard’s best non-Conan work, each edited and introduced by a longtime Howard scholar. Girasol Books, a pulp reprint house based in Canada, has released two massive books containing Howard’s complete Weird Tales output (including not only stories, but also all of his WT poems and letters to the editor), with the pages scanned directly from the pulps in facsimile form, exactly as they appeared in "The Unique Magazine" more than seventy years ago.And all of that just covers Howard’s original stories. The previously mentioned critical anthology, 1984’s The Dark Barbarian, has just been reprinted by Wildside Press in an affordable paperback edition, and in 2004 the same press released a captivating sequel titled The Barbaric Triumph. A book of Howard’s complete poems — all seven hundred of them! — is in the works, set to be illustrated by famed Hellboy artist Mike Mignola. Several new Howard bibliographies are coming out next year, their gargantuan proportions a testament to the amount of Howardia produced over the last few decades. And scholar Mark Finn just completed the first full-length biography of Howard since 1983’s seminal work in the field, Dark Valley Destiny by L. Sprague de Camp. Titled Blood and Thunder: The Life and Art of Robert E. Howard and weighing in at almost four hundred pages, Finn’s tome will hit bookstores in November. The buzz is that it’s good; watch for it.Publishers are not the only ones pushing Howard in the modern marketplace. A Swedish media conglomerate, Paradox Entertainment, has spent the last few years buying up multimedia rights to Howard’s work, and they are gung-ho about reintroducing Conan and other characters to a whole new generation of fans. On the live-action front, a Bran Mak Morn movie has already been greenlighted, with movies based on Solomon Kane and Conan also in various stages of pre-production. As for animated films, a full-length feature based on the Conan tale “Red Nails” is nearing completion. Video games, Hyborian pastiches, comics... in all of these areas Howard and Conan is being re-seeded into the pop culture sphere almost faster than one can keep up.And let’s not forget the fans. The long-running organization REHupa (The Robert E. Howard United Press Association) has entered its thirty-fourth year of continuous existence, and various editors are producing books, chapbooks, and literary journals at an impressive clip, using modern production techniques to eclipse in both quality and quantity the mountain of material published during the first Howard Boom. An example: my own semiprofessional journal, The Cimmerian, pays three cents a word, appears bi-monthly (monthly during this centennial year), and is focused like a laser on Howard’s life and work. I say that any author supporting a paying market for literary criticism seventy years after his death has done something right.So, is this really a second Howard Boom? I think so, yes. Quieter than the halcyon, Frazetta-illustrated ’70s for sure, but perhaps in the final analysis a more mature, more permanent phenomenon. It’s undeniable that Howard has broken through the glass ceiling of “mere pulp writer” and into the permanent realm of cultural and literary relevance shared by fellow adventure authors such as Arthur Conan Doyle, Robert Louis Stevenson, Dashiell Hammett, and Ian Fleming. There is no doubt in my mind this trend will continue, with Howard creeping further into arenas where he used to be persona non grata. For the first time, one is seeing REH panels at academic venues such as the yearly PCA/ACA (Popular Culture Association/American Culture Association) conference. He’s also starting to be included in critical books released by mainstream academic presses, such as the recent Conversations with Texas Writers (University of Texas Press, 2005), a book where Howard had the distinct honor of being the only dead author represented.Perhaps most tellingly, Howard has gone international in a serious way. Forty volumes of his work, including minor miscellany such as his autobiographical novel Post Oaks and Sand Roughs, have been published in France alone. Russia has seen a hundred Conan books, both original Howard and pastiche, while countries as varied as Germany, Italy, Poland, and Japan all have REH available in translation and enough fans to make each new edition a viable publishing proposition. Once the new movies hit Hollywood’s increasingly internationalized marketplace, followed by the previously described onslaught of centennial publishing detritus, who knows how Howard’s worldwide popularity and literary reputation will be affected? Will we someday see Robert E. Howard and Conan join fellow pulpsters Dashiell Hammett, Raymond Chandler, and H.P. Lovecraft in prestigious venues such as The Library of America? I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised. Nor I daresay would Howard’s many fans, scholars, and professional champions, all of whom have known for some time that his best work is eminently worthy of such honors.Authors who remain read over the decades have a way of aging like fine wine. A hundred years on, Howard has yet to lose his foothold in the minds of appreciative readers, and every year he gains new supporters in academic and critical circles. New generations are primed to rediscover Conan and his brethren all over again. Now that we’ve reached the end of Howard’s first century, it’s worth asking what the next hundred years will hold. What do you think — will 2106 pass with REH finally forgotten along with the pulps that spawned him? Fifty years ago, the possibility of Howard’s reputation surviving the vast majority of his best-selling contemporaries was remote. But that was then. Nowadays, the future is looking pretty bright for lovers of Sword-&-Sorcery, and for the brilliant Texan who conjured the genre out of the darkness for us. Happy Birthday, Two-Gun.

* * *Leo Grin is editor of The Cimmerian, a paying semiprofessional journal dedicated to the study of Robert E. Howard and his work. Contact him at editor@thecimmerian.com.

Howard once said of Conan "He is the damnedest bastard that ever was!" It seems that most will only remember him for Conan he created so much more, and even though he was verbose (he got piad by the word) he was also prolific, and i feel through his writings that i got to know him just a little bit. I pulled one of my favorite stories off the shelf today and re-read it "The Devil in Iron" it still makes me want to stand on the edge of the coffee table with sword in hand and leap to adventures unknown......ah to be 13 again!

Sadly at the age of 30 in 1936 he climbed into the front seat of his car and blew his brains out.....We may never know why and the world was cheated of the things that still had not worked their way out of Howards fevered imagination.....

maybe i'll write a Howardesque story......then again can you truly emulate your heroes?

Here's to new generations discovering barbarians, and sword weilding puritans!

Later.....

WTF!

Ok so i just finished watching Stuart Gordons' latest film adaption of my FAVORITE H.P. Lovecraft story "Dreams in the Witch House" and here is my question.....Why do these stupid jerk off wannabe Hollywood types change and deviate so far from the original story? Ok so Lovecraft wrote in a tedious style and published the bulk of his stories in pulp magazines in the 20's and 30's but i still think that his stories are relevant and touch that dark place in all of us......and i'm fairly sure he has been given the credit for being the father of the modern gothic horror story so again WTF?

The only film adaption I have ever seen that even comes close is a film called "The Ressurected" that stars Chris Sarandon and is based on The Case of Charles Dexter Ward.

The Lurking Fear
The Unnameable
From Beyond
The Dunwich Horror

have all been adapted as well and all fall seriously short of the original source material

We as fans need to do something...i'm just not sure what exactly!

I myself have started a Lovecraftian story which I will eventually finish at some point (I hope) here is a tease (Now keep in mind this is only my sad attempt to emulate one of my heroes and it is still rough...be kind)


Francis Scott Kessler
4242 North Olive St., Apt. H
Dunwich, Massachusetts 64118

Dear Scott,

I count myself fortunate that I was able to obtain your new address from a mutual female acquaintance. First let me say that that I was sorry to hear about the sudden passing of your mother, I know the two of you were close. Second let me offer you my congratulations on your recent nuptials, I had figured you for a lifelong bachelor; however my reason for this letter is of a more serious tone, I have something most disturbing to relate to you and I feel certain that only a fellow kindred and devotee of the esoteric and the macabre would appreciate the following narrative and give it the seriousness that it deserves.

As you may or may not be aware recently, I obtained a contract with a small and obscure publishing company most noted for its forays into Horror and Science Fiction. My novel was to center around a character that you and I had discussed over many a pitcher of beer some years earlier when we were both living in California.
My Editor has a small vacation home in the State of Kentucky near the Mammoth Caves National Park and offered it to me as a place to write and do my research, he said that it was well secluded and would offer up very few distractions, having never been to that part of the country and me always being up for a new adventure took him up on his offer without much hesitation. My sister dropped me off that morning at the airport armed only with my laptop, a few weeks worth of clothes, a handful of books, and my twelve hundred dollar advance, I boarded the plane eager to get started. The stewardess that seated me was very attractive; do they still call them that? Or was that incredibly sexist of me? The flight itself was uneventful, although I was rather impressed with my accommodations my editor Jim had actually sent me to Louisville first class, it’s amazing how much larger the seats really are.
The plane landed a few hours later, a car had been arranged for my use and soon I was speeding east on a four-lane highway. The country side was actually quite remarkable, gentle rolling hills, blue green grass, and thick dense forests of eldritch old hickory and cedar trees that crowded closely in on the highway which in some places actually cut through solid limestone.
A mere two hours later I found myself in a town appropriately named Cave City, for it bordered Mammoth Cave National Park and several privately owned caves. I stopped at a convenience store to relieve my aching bladder and ask for directions. The girl behind the counter was very friendly and didn’t quite fit the mental image I had conjured, she was not; to my disappointment barefoot, pregnant, missing teeth, or wearing overalls, I’m told you will only see that on the extreme eastern part of the state. Another half hour finds me pulling up to a small log cabin set squarely on a hilltop overlooking the State Park; I immediately unpacked my belongings and put them neatly away. The cabin consisted mostly of one room of appropriate furnishings, with the bath independent and adjacent to the kitchen, the bedroom was nothing more than a loft obscured by a half wall. There was as I noted much to my dismay no television or radio to be found, no distractions indeed! After rummaging through the cabinets it was apparent the first order of business was to stock the larder, but I decided that this could wait until tomorrow as I was near to exhaustion from my trip. I got back in the car and made my way back down to a small diner that I had passed on my way to the cabin. I went inside and sat down it was only when I ordered a plate of Barbecue that I noticed everyone eying me intently, and it seemed to me that everyone was rather Batrachian and slightly Brachycephalic in aspect, although I suppose it may have been I was simply tired. When I asked my waitress about my observations she simply remarked that the diner was family owned and operated and that everyone present, aside from me was in some way or another related.
It wasn’t until a few weeks later that I would really know the truth of my first observation of the local inhabitants. During my first week alone in the cabin I made considerable progress on my novel and a few short stories, however very early one morning in the pre-dawn hours I was awakened by a sound so utterly alien that at first I doubted as to my state of consciousness, but slowly blinking the hazy blur of sleep from my eyes I was sure that I was sure that hearing the low muffled chant of many voices coming from somewhere out in the darkness. My natural state being highly curious I hastily dressed in the dark and ran to the deck to throw open the sliding glass doors. The frigid starless night rushed in on me causing me to shiver, I looked out over the gentle slope with my flashlight trying to pinpoint the source of the music, but as suddenly as I had been awakened by the strange music, it abruptly stopped. I stayed awake for the next three hours hastily picking away at the keys on my laptop writing and listening for the strange haunting melody that had awakened me from a sound sleep, but to no avail.
The next few days were uneventful except that I found myself unable to concentrate on my work as my imagination had been captured by the strange and slightly mellifluous chanting voices in the night.
On the fourth day after hearing the music I decided to distract myself with a guided tour of the neighboring caves I reasoned that I could somehow work them into my current narrative or perhaps a future yarn. After paying my twelve dollars and once inside my consciousness was invaded with the feeling of such vast antiquity that it temporarily overwhelmed me. Our guide proceeded to slowly unveil the history of the caves; apparently they had been mined for salt-peter for the manufacture of gun powder during several wars, and used for a hospital for tuberculosis patients. But it wasn’t until our guide stopped at a peculiar shaped outcropping of rock that my interest was piqued. The formation was known simply as giants coffin and that according to local folklore it had been used by early native Americans and by a local church cult in recent history to perform hideous dark rituals of unspeakable horror (the guides words not mine). When I tried to inquire about his story in further detail he gave me a furtive look of extreme disdain and promptly moved the tour on to the next attraction. After crawling through a very narrow passage in the cave referred to as fat mans’ misery I tried to further press our guide in private about the coffin shaped rock; he said in a hushed low tone that it would be in my best interest being an outsider to leave the legend well enough alone. As I have said earlier and as you well know I am much to curious to be daunted by his obvious childish attempts to warn me away, I decided right then and there that I would track down the church in the legend and investigate the strange folklore in further detail.
My first stop was the local historical society. The woman who ran the local office, a Mrs. Feldman was remarkably unhelpful and actually asked me to leave immediately in no uncertain terms when I mentioned wanting to find out about the church in the guides story.


Ah maybe if i leave you hanging you'll come back (provided you come here to begin with)...lol

Later....

Strange Week

This week to say the least has been surreal......My wife's beloved pet bird Sakari (A blue streaked Lori) Passed on after being exposed to a very lethal bird ailment we think (Polyoma) and the bizarre death of Steve Irwin (One of my daughters personal heroes) it has been to say the least touchy around here......

Not to mention my wife tells me that when i get in a creative furvor I am very difficult to live with. She says when i'm like this i wear my emotions to close to the surface and they have a tendency to ooze out of my pores in strange, stupid and unusual ways.....

Poetry has always been my first avenue of retreat from the real world...when it comes to fiction i have a terrible tendency to re-write and edit myself to deah and end up scrapping the entire thing...with poetry i tend to just write it down and forget about it! which is something i like about blogging....its too much work to edit!...lol

Sunday afternnon
finds me sitting in a tub
of warm soapy water
contemplating the myriad rainbows
that exist in the tiny fragile bubbles
floting on the surface
an angel vision
as i close my eyes
to wash away the shampoo
from my hair
in her sistine smile
a hint
of the coming fire storm
of change
her black wings
slowly
fold in around me
gathering me into her
dead embrace
a hollow song
echoes through
the slightly open door
its malevolent chorus
banging around
inside my skull
i taste ashes on my tongue

Its time for my moisturizer

hmmmm........

Later...



Later......

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Work In Progress

Ok so it has been a few days and my vain attempt to post something everyday has gotten the better of me....

I thought i would post this story idea....it has been something that i have been toying with off and on for quite a long while now....my muse comes and goes all on its own and lately it has been hiding in the very deep alcoves of my brain...lol

Anyway keep in mind it is a work in progess so please be kind....

oh and by the way this is my intellectual property so don't steal it or I will have to hunt you down and drain you of your life...lol

(Intellectual property (IP) is an umbrella term used to refer to the object of a variety of laws, including patent law, copyright law, trademark law, trade secret law, industrial design law, and potentially others. These laws provide exclusive rights to certain parties and many of them implement government-granted monopolies. Copyrights, for example, generally allow only one party to make copies of a work.)

Prologue:

There it was staring me in the face, the Judgment card; divinatory meaning: a time of great and positive change, especially in the way we see ourselves, a new beginning. What the fuck? I thought, what next?
“Are you playing with those goddamn cards again?” Cody asked from the front seat while looking up at me in the rear view mirror.
“So what if I am?” I replied.
“Every time you play with those things you get fucking weird on me.”
The second card out of the deck, the Magician in the reverse position; divinatory meaning: a possible weakness or suppressed energy, or the need to use power responsibly. Was I becoming too reckless?
“What are you up to anyway?” He asked
“How many times do we need to have this conversation?” I asked
“You know I like to feel confident before we walk into these situations.”
“I think you put too much faith in those goddamn things!”
“And you put too much into that shot gun you carry under your coat.” was my comeback.
“It hasn’t failed me yet!” he pats it as though it were a cherished pet
“Neither have these cards.”
This is how it went almost every night, Cody and I are mechanics, for lack of a better term, you have a problem we fix it for the right price. Tonight we had been hired to abduct a gentleman named Randall Delgado; eldest son of Antoine Delgado, local crime lord. It seems Randall had gotten a little too friendly with someone’s daughter, and left her high and dry in the family way, I have always maintained that women aren’t good for much except getting one into trouble, but who am I to judge? I caught my ex cheating on me with my best friend so I killed her, but that is another story for another time.
“How do you want to handle this one?” I asked, as we neared the café where Randall would be seated with his bodyguards Jimmy and Vinny playing poker.
“What’s wrong with our usual?”
“Nothing I suppose, but don’t you ever get bored with the same old thing day in and day out?” I asked, as I laydown the next card, the Chariot: divinatory meaning: Will, great force of character, power or in this case, success.
“Well?” he asked
“We’re good to go.” I said, as I put the cards into my inside jacket pocket. We were imported talent; Chicago is not our usual territory our retainer was being overtly cautious. Cody was my brother I brought him into the business not long after he graduated college; I on the other hand had been in this line of work since I was sixteen. The Café was in the middle of the block with a large bullet proof window in front that had been painted over for privacy, the local mob used it as a hang out, sort of a private club if you will, we had obtained a blueprint from our employer a week earlier. Cody went around to the back pushing a shopping cart and dressed as a derelict, where he would sift through refuse bins and wait for my signal. There was a man posted out front sitting on a stool, he bristled as I approached. I suppose it’s not everyday that you see a man like me walking down the sidewalk. For the record I stand 6’ 3” a sinewy 200 pounds, I always dress head to toe in black regardless of the weather, and with a waist length mane the colour of raven’s wings I like to wear pulled back into a loose braid, not tomention the custom made sword cane always at my side, I suppose I could be considered by some to be impressive, if not suspect. He eyeballed me intently as I stopped roughly a foot away from his perch.
With my best theatrical British accent I said, “Ello mate would you happen to have a light?” As I simultaneously reached into my pocket, produced a platinum case and removed a Silk Cut. Rather rudely slapping the cigarette from my lips He said, “No, now beat it before I shove that cane up your foreign pansy pretty boy ass!” Oh dear he was making this too easy. I flashed him a toothy grin unsheathing my sharp pearlescent canines.“What the fu..?” Was all he managed to get out before I neatly, in one simple fluid motion broke his neck, he fell like a greasy fat broken rag doll onto the filthy gum and grime-laden sidewalk at my feet.“Time to make your move Cody!” I hissed, adjusting my earpiece. Taking out a canister of tear gas I popped the ring opened the door, and tossed it into the interior of the café and waited in case anyone should come running out. A few moments later I heard the explosive report of the twelve-gauge street-sweeper so favored by my kinsman. A mere heartbeat later and I was standing over the prone and unconscious body of Randall Delgado.
“Any problems?” I asked my baby brother.
“The kitchen staff was a pain in the ass, but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle.”
“Good lets get this asshole in the car before the rest of his grease-ball’ family has time to recover.”
I assumed he was smiling through his gas mask, but I couldn’t be sure. As he hefted Randall onto his shoulder like a sack of Italian potatoes and turned to walk away. I pulled the death card from my deck and placed it face down onto the nearest table, along with the black rose from my lapel; my trademark, now time for dinner. I had not fed for almost twelve hours, and the smell of blood was making me ravenous. Vincents' bodyguards were of no use to me Cody had blown off their heads as they had reached for their guns. As I quickly glanced around the room I noticed a waitress huddled in the corner next to the bar coughing and rubbing her eyes furiously. As I approached her, she tried to back away and kick at me, with preternatural speed I embraced her, ripped open her carotid artery and drank deeply of the warm coppery liquid life force that pumped and coursed from her body infusing my every dead cell. Now refreshed I drew the sword from my cane and removed her head, unfortunately my kiss is highly infectious, and Icouldn’t have her coming back as one of the undead now could I? Smiling at my reflection in the mirrors lining the bar I wiped my blade clean and walked out into the waiting night.“Did you have a nice dinner?” Cody asked as I neared the car.
“Wasn’t bad for fast food.” I replied
“Lets get going we have a delivery to make.”
As we pulled away from the curb I laid down one last card, the three of pentacles; divinatory meaning: realizing the value of one’s achievements…. how appropriate I thought. For a moment I almost felt sorry for Randall, after all it wasn’t everyday that your ex-girlfriends’ father pays to have you abducted so he can personally remove your manhood........Sometimes, just sometimes I love my work……….

Not to worry I'm sure there will be more of these to come...lol

what do you think?

Later........

Thursday, August 31, 2006

It Happened

Ok at some point without me noticing I have become my father........My eight year old son was sitting at the breakfast bar the other day pushing the vegetetables on his plate around in a sad and vain attempt to make it look as though he has eaten them....when I gave him the speech! "There are starving kids in Africa that would kill for those vegetables!" "You are going to sit there all night if thats what it takes ...you are going to eat those vegetables......and If you don't finish them tonight you will get them for breakfast.....blah blah blah....." It just came out of my mouth.....i walked into the other room and freaked! then it happened again......My 8 year old son has a play station a tv, a vcr and a dvd player in his room...so many toys that you can see the carpet...and he has the nerve to walk up to me and say "I'm bored" so I made him clean up the yard, while I'm giving him the all I had was a rock and a stick speech.......this is what my father used to do to me....the first time i ever told him i was bored was the day I was introduced to the lawnmower....

I come home at three a.m. from work and trip over my sons' skateboard, so i pick it up and put it on the top shelf of my closet....he asks the next morning if i have seen it and before i can even blink I say..."you want it back take out the garbage!"

Somebody please tell me when I became my father

Does this happen to us all? Next I'll be telling stories about walking to school in the snow barefoot up hill both ways!....lol

Help!


Later......

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

I'm Convinced

I'm convinced that ALL women are nuts in some capacity.......My daughter can run the emotional gamit in a matter of seconds......but i'm sure this is common for a 14 year old right?.....

Has anyone besides me noticed that there is a trend towards putting teenagers on mood altering drugs? Are kids today different than when I was a teenager? Or when our Parents were teenagers? Grounding and a good smack in the mouth always worked for me so why not for todays kids (I've actually had my daughter threaten to cal CPS if i spanked her....wtf)? Has society become so full of shite and pressures that we are producing more and more neurotic children? I hear more teenage girls talking about suicide than ever before.....Is it something in the water?

anybody else notice?

Why do girls go through this crap so much earlier than boys?

thoughts? before i have a mild heart attack?


Later.......